Angela Booth's Writing Blog

Giggle of the Day: "Iraqi Voting Disrupts News Reports of Bombings"

Mark Steyn swats patronizing too-lazy-to-think fools in the Western media in "The 'civil war' that wasn't":

  

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AND so the "looming Iraqi election fiasco" joins "the brutal Afghan winter" and "the brutal Iraqi summer" and "the seething Arab street" and all the other junk in the overflowing trash can of post-9/11 Western media fictions.

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He kicks Australian Opposition Leader Kim Beazley where it hurts, too:

 

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In Commonwealth countries, of course, we have the concept of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition, so called because the Loyal Opposition carries on like a hysterical old queen. Thus, Kim Beazley, back in the saddle and already sore -- on the very eve of the Iraqi election triumph, when elementary prudence might have suggested waiting 24 hours before singing another refrain of When It's Quagmire Time on the Tigris.

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Empowered people: three cheers for Iraq

Wonderful news about the Iraqi polls. People power! Yes!!

 

It's humbling to read on Free Iraqi:

  

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I was afraid that I was going to be among a minority who are going to vote, but I was still very happy for rather a different reason. It's that just as I care about the outcome of this election and that democracy would work in Iraq, I cared no less about voting on a personal level. This was my way to stand against those who humiliated me, my family and my friends. It was my way of saying," You're history and you don't scare me anymore". It was my way to scream in the face of all tyrants, not just Saddam and his Ba'athists and tell them, "I don't want to be your, or anyone's slave. You have kept me in your jail all my life but you never owned my soul". It was my way of finally facing my fears and finding my courage and my humanity again.

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Giggle of the Day: At home with Ahmed

Thanks to The Diplomad for this gem, "If Only, If Only . . ." It was posted on January 23, so you may need to scroll down.

 

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Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at  Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Our administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear in Washington.

You'll be pleased to learn that thanks to concerned citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care…

 

Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws.

Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. He will bite you, given the chance. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

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Giggle of the Day: Oh the horror of an occupying power…

Tim Blair slaps a gullible Washington Post reporter who left her common sense at home:

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Now we reach a section of the tale that, to be frank, does not reflect well on "mild-mannered" Imaad:

While the soldiers went next door to search his neighbor's house, Imaad began to slap his mother, he said. "The American people are devils," Um Imaad recalled her son repeating.

The only violence in this saga is committed by Imaad against his mother -- and the Americans are devils?

He left her and went to a mosque to spend the night. "I asked God to forgive me," Imaad said, "because I could not prevent American sins."

You might have also asked God about that mother-slapping, pal.

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Giggle of the Day: Ethics 'R' Us

From the incomparable Iowahawk, "Ethics 'R' Us", the most heartfelt and genuine ethics policy I've ever read: Read the whole thing. But make sure you're not eating or drinking when you do, because you're liable to choke:

HOW YOU, THE READER, CAN HELP KEEP IOWAHAWK CORRUPTION-FREE
BlogAds: Whether you are selling funtime fireworks for children, non-FDA-approved herbal diet supplements, or discrete Asian escort services, let Iowahawk put the fearsome marketing power of the internet to work for you. For only $10 per week, your BlogAd will soon be reaching tens of thousands of Iowahawk's very "special" visitors. All ads submitted to Iowahawk  must meet a rigorous, 10 point checklist for taste and truthfulness, like the type you see in whatever ad is running there on the right. If you would like to learn more about the power of BlogAds targeted to Iowahawk readers, click here, here, and here.

Tip # 16: How to thrive as a freelance writer --- Your vices and virtues

Freelance writing is all about what you LOVE. Everyone loves something, even if it's only pizza. The problem with the stuff you're most in tune with however, is that it's so much a part of you that you may not even see it.

What do you do to goof off? Do you play computer games? Do crossword puzzles? Veg out in front of the TV? Play golf?

If you love something, others love it too. For example, for a time I was addicted to crossword puzzles. Unfortunately the addiction passed, so I never followed up on it as a market for my writing, but I know that I could have.

What's your favourite vice? Or virtue? Write about them.

It's time for a peasants' revolt against the UN

It's time the peasants revolted and stormed the vampire-UN gates with pitchforks and cudgels.

Read the latest item, UNbearable, from the Diplomad:

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UNDP comes close to UNICEF in the brazenness competition. All the columns save one are blank. Under "Other," UNDP states "$100K cash grant for coordination + assessment; 2 Recovery experts sent to arrive 12/31." In other words, they've spent $100,000 to do what they're supposed to do in the first place, coordinate and assess; oh and they've flown two folks out here (first class, of course) who'll do something or another. Have they in fact arrived? What have they done since then? These are questions to which you will never get a straight answer. WFP, OCHA, and WHO can barely come up with anything to brag about: in fact, WHO (World Health Organization) has NO entries at all in the matrix' columns. UNHCR claims to have provided 20 thousand jerry cans for water, there's one problem with that claim: USAID provided the cans which are filled up on the USS Abraham Lincoln with pure water and flown to affected areas by USN Seahawk choppers -- the very ones that get criticized so very much.
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The UN creeps have no shame.

The gravy train in the disaster zone

The Diplomad item: The "Turd" World And The High Priest Vulture Elite is a must-read.

With its usual combination of unbelievable laziness, cupidity and breath-taking arrogance, the UN is happily planning, planning, planning while people die:

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Sitting VERY late for two consecutive nights in interminable meetings with UN reps, hearing them go on about "taking the lead coordination role," pledges, and the impending arrival of this or that UN big shot or assessment/coordination team, for the millionth time I realized that if not for Australia and America almost nobody in the tsunami-affected areas would have survived more than a few days. If we had waited for the UNocrats to get their act coordinated, the already massive death toll would have become astronomical. But, fortunately, thanks to "retrograde racist war-mongers " such as John Howard and George W. Bush, as we sat in air conditioned meeting rooms with these UNocrats, young Australians and Americans were at that moment "coordinating" without the UN and saving the lives of tens-of-thousands of people.
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Tip # 14: How to thrive as a freelance writer --- Give yourself time to be creative, and to think

The world is changing fast. As a freelance writer, all you have to sell is your creativity. Make the most of it, by taking the time each day to court your muse.

Here's how:

* Read whatever interests you. Make time to read every day. Read classic writers, and read today's most popular writers too. Read junk writing. Read and make notes on whatever you read. Argue with the writers on paper. If you own a book, make it your own: add marginalia.

* Follow your interests. I enjoy tinkering with software and writing for my own enjoyment. What do you enjoy? Whether it's exercising, going to the movies, or gossiping on the phone, do it, but keep your writer's radar active. Whatever interest you, interests others too.

* Follow your instincts, also known as your intuition. Make an effort to do this. How many times have you read an article or a book, and thought: "I had an idea to write this a year ago?!" Your intuition speaks softly. Listen to what it has to say.

* Play! Toss a Frisbee. Bounce a ball. Do a crossword puzzle. Paint. Knit. As an adult, you'll have to make a special effort to indulge your playful self. Do it. And don't feel guilty about it. Your creative self LOVES play.

Find your own ways to stimulate your creativity, every day.

Brainless, heartless, and evil

Where was this guy's editor? Here's an example of writing that's so evil you can only guess at what this fellow was smoking and/ or ingesting. Matthew Parris, in The Times Online, wrote: "Imagine there were no cataclysms - what a dull world it would be":

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I watched the TV pictures of the surge of ocean coming ashore, saw the buildings in its path, and had to stifle an inward "Yes! Sweep them away! Show us how small is Man! Show us how easily this Universe can make matchwood of our dreams!" And no, you do not need to remind me that they were somebody else's dreams, not mine. "Show us," I thought, "how lives and livelihoods can be snuffed out in the twinkling of an eye."
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A psychiatrist would have a field day with this creep. I hope the advertisers whip the editors with a flail.

Blogging tragedy and horror

The India Uncut blog is a gut-wrenching read, but it gives you an inkling of what the situation is like for the people who have to deal with the effects of the tsunami disaster.

From "A picture of hell, and no kerosene":

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"We've been calling aid agencies and so on asking for fuel to burn the bodies with," he continues, "but we got none. We managed to fill some cans of kerosene lying around some of the devastated houses, but there's no more of even that?"

"But can't the government give you kerosene?" I ask astonished.

"The government does nothing," he says. "I thought differently till I came here, but now I've seen it for myself. Everything is left to the junior IAS officers, who are in meetings all day. Ministers come, and all they want to know is how many people are dead. They don't care about relief work at all. In an unprecedented situation you need an unprecedented response. But that has not happened."
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Tsunami death toll mounting

According to Indonesia's Ambassador to Malaysia, Indonesia may be looking at a death toll of 400,000.

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He said the estimate was based on air surveillance by Indonesian authorities who found no signs of life in places like Meulaboh, Pulau Simeulue and Tapak Tuan while several islands off the west coast of Sumatera had "disappeared".

He said the latest death toll of more than 40,000 in Acheh and northern Sumatera did not take into account the figures from the other areas, especially in the west of the region.

"Aerial surveillance found the town of Meulaboh completely destroyed with only one buiding standing. The building, which belonged to the military, happens to be on a hill," he told reporters after receiving RM1 million in aid for Indonesia's Tsunami Disaster Relief Fund here Thursday.

Rusdihardjo said there were about 150,000 residents in Meulaboh, which was located 150km from the epicentre of the earthquake while Pulau Simeuleu had a population of 76,000.
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The total death toll, according to the Red Cross, may be a unimaginable one million.

Publisher Lonely Planet challenges Australia's corporations

A story in The Australian, "Lonely Planet challenges the big end" tells of the travel guide publisher's big heart:

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Publisher Lonely Planet and an anonymous donor have thrown down the gauntlet to corporate Australia by daring the big end of town to match their $500,000 donations to help tsunami victims.

Lonely Planet's $500,000 donation means the travel guide publisher, with revenues of less than $100 million and 350 staff, will stump up five times the cash donated by some major banks.

Lonely Planet chief executive Judy Slatyer called on businesses to dig deep and challenged them to match the federal Government's pledge of $35 million.

Describing Australia's role as critical, she said the business sector had enjoyed a year of strong profits, a booming economy and record share values. "All you need is another 70 companies to do what we've done, or maybe the big companies do more, and you will have doubled the Government's commitment," she said.
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Let's watch what happens. :-)

Amazing animals: safe from the tsunami

From a story at News.com:

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Sri Lankan wildlife officials have said the giant waves that killed more than 24,000 people along the Indian Ocean island's coast seemingly missed wild beasts, with no dead animals found.

"No elephants are dead, not even a dead hare or rabbit," HD Ratnayake, deputy director of Sri Lanka's Wildlife Department, said yesterday.

"I think animals can sense disaster. They have a sixth sense. They know when things are happening."
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Here's a story of a snake guiding a woman and children to safety:

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As she struggled through the torrent, she saw a snake as big as a telephone pole gliding left with current of the water and towards what turned out to be a makeshift bank.

"Strangely I felt no fear," Riza said, adding she followed the snake to safety.
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1-Click tsunami disaster-relief Red Cross donations at Amazon.com

If you're an Amazon.com customer, the company's offering 1-Click tsunami disaster-relief donations to the American Red Cross, with 100 per cent of donations going directly to the charity.

Tsunami death toll at 55,000 and expected to rise

This story at News.com puts the current death toll at 55,000.

Here in Australia, the Red Cross and the Commonwealth Bank are accepting donations.

Merry Christmas!

Have a happy, holy, and safe, Christmas Day. Wishing you and yours happiness and joy.

"There's more, much more, to Christmas Than candlelight and cheer; It's the spirit of sweet friendship That brightens all year. It's thoughtfulness and kindness, It's hope reborn again, For peace, for understanding, And for goodwill to men!"

(Anonymous)

Giggle of the Day: The Ig Nobel awards 2004

The MEDICINE award went to:

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Steven Stack of Wayne State University, Detroit, Michigan, USA and James Gundlach of Auburn University, Auburn, Alabama, USA, for their published report "The Effect of Country Music on Suicide."
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Killer dolphins: deadly smart

Flipper needs a makeover. Here's a plot for your next novel: a killer dolphin terrorises a fishing village.

Forget the New Age hype, it turns out that dolphins are killers. From "Flipper has a whale of a time taming the neighbourhood" by Louise Evans:

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Last week at Maria Island off Tasmania, where more than 40 pilot whales were stranded, a pod of about 50 dolphins could be seen behaving aggressively just metres offshore. At King Island, also off Tasmania, where 55 pilot whales beached, Rosemary Gales, senior marine biologist at Tasmania's Nature Conservation Branch made this telling observation: "Locals and police trying to deter the animals from stranding observed the dolphins herding the whales ashore and stopping them from going to open sea." Whales stranding expert David Pemberton said "we are for the first time looking at whether dolphins are part of the problem".

Sometimes the young killer dolphins get carried away and end up beaching as well, as they did at King Island last week. The godfathers of the gangster dolphin world regret losing some of their young guns but as the old saying goes "there are plenty of other dolphins in the sea".

It is hard to come to terms with the fact, especially after centuries of canonisation, that those cheeky, squeaky mammals have the same work place practices as TV mob boss Tony Soprano.
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Tip #5: How to thrive as a freelance writer - time sheets and word counts

As a freelance writer, you don't have to travel to work (unless you have an office somewhere else), so you have more time available to you, because you've eliminated the daily commute.

This means that it's easy to work too much, or too little.

You may work too much, because you feel insecure. This pattern leads to stress and burnout.

You may work too little, because you have lots of time, so you procrastinate. This pattern leads to chaos.

The answer is to get into the habit of keeping time sheets for small projects, and daily word counts for longer projects, like books.

Giggle of the day: Pop Quiz: Atomic Poker

I'm wiping away tears (of laughter). Read Pave France's Pop Quiz: Atomic Poker post:

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As the leader of the world's sole acknowledged super-power you are entrusted with the world's security, much to the chagrin of some lesser petty nations and bad guys with the nuclear itch. A whacked rogue state is caught building nuclear weapons. This rogue state, with a history of providing terrorist organizations with financing and conventional weapons and breaking its word to sucker diplomats, has already made several uniequivocal pronouncements about its intended mischief.

What do you do?

A) Call France. Leave a message for Jack asking him to please return your call at his earliest convenience. Give your cell number.

B) Call the UN. Make an appointment for elevenses with Kofi Annan sometime in the upcoming week. Purchase a pound of assorted tea cakes and stare at the nice Whitehall wall calendar.

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(You'll need to scroll down the page, there's no direct link.)

Giggle of the day: can you spare a latte?

Apparently US liberals are fleeing to Canada.

They've even got their own people smugglers.

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Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals Near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
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Unfortunately, I haven't heard that any Australian Labor Party or Greens voters are heading for New Zealand. It's hard to impress sheep with how trendy you are. (Note, I mean four-legged sheep! I love New Zealand and New Zealanders. :-))

NaNoWriMo Day 23 update

(If you're a new reader of this blog, this post refers to NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month.

It's the final week of NaNo. I'm lagging on the word count, now at 35K, but I'm happy with the novel. It's workable. The characters are interesting and the plot is taking shape nicely.

Onward, to 50K! :-)

Giggle of the Day: Christopher Hitchens, true wit

In his piece "NOT SO DUMB THEN?" Christopher Hitchens skewers the deserving. Read the whole thing.

Love this:

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It may seem regrettable to you that these pious church-goers also have the right to vote but so they do. They had it when the British were living under absolute monarchy.

And it was prayer-muttering farm-boys from Tennessee and Vermont who came over to Europe in such large numbers, bringing their various chaplains along, and did us all such a favour a generation ago…

Of course, I would prefer that only secular humanists and believers in Darwin had been in the front line against first fascism and then Stalinism and now Islamic nihilism but one can't have everything.

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Writing Tip: Rainbow writing

My computer screen looks like a rainbow when I'm writing. I keep ideas, revision notes, and (some) research in the primary document, colour-coded. I used to keep all my notes separate, but it's not as efficient. Colour-coding helps remind me what my initial train of thought was through several drafts. :-)

I use blue, green and red fonts for additional material, black is for the work itself. Here's my colour scheme:

* Blue: general notes and ideas, thinking on the computer screen;

* Green: changes I need to make in this draft, stuff I'm not happy with but don't know how to fix, yet;

* Red: research info, anything important.

I also use the highlighting function in Microsoft Word with abandon.